In fact, I am not fond of asking questions.
In fact, I was never the type of persons who sit in the front row of the classroom, raise hands and ask question like playing pingpong with the professors. I was trained like every traditional Chinese students, shut up & listen. I would rather be an observor, watching, listening, thinking, making remarks on my mind quietly and nicely and collecting information. Never been comfortable socialing with strangers, always want to find a friend in a gathering and never insist on what kind of food that I want to eat. I am the kind of person searching answers for life but in a secret and private way; mostly through books, movies, someone else discussion.
The inner true me is absolutely a shy one.
Somehow, along the 10 plus some years of my working expierence, there is another me, "a very strange one" according to the Inner Me, that has this image of always asking questions. Questions about the process, about the purpose of why doing it, how to do it, when to do it, to whom and what the impact, about the people, the concerns, the feelings.... All kinds of questions, I ask for me and for the others who might have came across the same thoughts, but for some reasons, decide to stay quiet.
I don't know when and why I am becoming this question asker. Sometimes I wonder if I was been difficult for others or just plainly stupid. So sometimes I intentionally hold my thoughs, until the last minute to a circumstance that is if no asking then discussion ends.
And this starts to annoy me in a funny strange way. Tired? Yes, a bit. Lonely? Perhaps some. But mostly, miss the Inner ME!
Tags: work, feeling | Edit Tags
Wednesday February 14, 2007 - 08:42pm (PST) Edit | Delete
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